Build Me Up, Break Me Down
by M-and-Em's
Summary: The Fourth Great War had finally come to an end and to most it seemed as if the worst was already over. But to a certain raven haired Uchiha the war against his biggest enemy, addiction, was just beginning. Can Sakura, Konoha's best known medic ninja, aid his recovery or will she stand by idly and watch him succumb to his demons? Post War. Eventual SasuSaku. Mild NaruSaku as well
1. Chapter 1

_Notes: _

_Italics = old memories or character thoughts_

_I don't own Naruto or any characters associated with it. All credit goes to the respective author_

_I've been meaning to write a story like this for some time now and the topic really hits home for me on some levels. Hopefully I can capture everything correctly. If not I apologize in advance!_

_Anyway, since it's a brand new year here's a brand new story :) I hope you all enjoy!_

**Build Me Up, Break Me Down**

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><p>"Hey, Teuchi, can I get another refill of ramen? Pleaaaaaaase?"<p>

At the sound of his pleading voice Sakura looked up from her bowl of food and focused her emerald eyes on the smiling, whiskered face of her blonde team mate sitting just a few feet beside her. His lean arms were clasped behind his head nonchalantly as he leaned back in his chair looking almost sheepishly at the brown haired chef standing just a few meters away from them. The pinkette brought her thin brows together in a combination of disgust and confusion as she glanced down at the small bowl lying empty beside six other ones. She had heard that Naruto loved Ramen more than he loved life, but did he really like it _this _much?

"Neh, Naruto," Shikamaru's usually cool and collected voice stretched across the table prompting the hungry blonde to look at him with one open ocean blue eye. "That was like your millionth bowl. You're starting to make me think you'll eat more than Choji at this point."

At the mention of his name the brown haired Akimichi in question raised one large hand in the air while the other guided another chopstick full of ramen noodles to his lips. "You bettew watch what you'we saying Shikamoo," His words were slightly muffled by the mouthful of food he was munching on. "Don't make mwe beat yow to a pulp. We've already had enough fighting to last us a lifetime."

"Hah! Shikamoo? I like it!" Ino's amused voice suddenly joined the others and almost instantly the room was filled with a myriad of light hearted laughs as they all took in Choji's slight, unintended hiccup. The spiky haired strategist, who was usually so calm and unaffected by silly jokes, had a light almost unnoticeable blush dusting his cheeks. That alone was enough to throw Sakura and her usually quiet friend Hinata into a fit of giggles.

If time could have frozen still in that moment Sakura was sure that she along with the rest of her friends would agree to live in this moment forever. Everything felt so right, so happy, and so carefree. It was almost impossible to believe that so much destruction and heart ache had taken place just a few months prior.

The bodies that had once donned navy blue shirts and army green vests were now clad in casual every day wear. The faces that were once stained with tears, dirt, and worry were now gone, instead replaced with small smiles and happy blushes. This was the life they had all fought for and craved. This was how things were supposed to be.

"This is just like old times huh," Kiba's sharp black eyes took in the smiling faces of all his friends as he lazily ran his hand across Akumaru's soft, white fur. "All of our original childhood friends are here and then some." He shrugged towards the newer edition to the group, Sai, at the last part of his sentence.

"Shikamoo, Ino, Choji, Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Hinata, Lee, Tenten, Shino, Me, and of course Akumaru," almost as if on cue the Inuzuka's faithful companion let out a small bark. "All we need is Sasuke and then we'll be complete."

At the sound of his name the pinkette's small, pale fingers suddenly clenched around the chopsticks she had gripped in her hand. _That name_, the name that she had tried so hard to forget was suddenly thrown into the forefront of her mind. And Sakura hated it. She hated it with every fiber of her being.

In her mind the pinkette had hoped that her reaction to the mention of her raven haired team mate would be overlooked, but it seemed as if everyone had shifted their gaze to look at her, even the usually oblivious blonde knucklehead. It was almost as if they anticipated her reacting to the mention of his name…It made sense after all.

It was almost painful for her to lift the corner of her lips up in a small smile as her emerald eyes took in the now serious faces of all her friends. She wanted to go crawl into a dark corner right now. She really did.

"Heh, why'd you guys get all serious all of a sudden?" she raised her hand up to scratch at her candy pink hair sheepishly just like Naruto had done just minutes before. She had to keep her composure for just a little bit longer._ She had to. _"Weren't we just debating who could hold down more bowls of ramen or something?"

As if sensing his team mate's desperation in steering the topic and mood back to what it once was the blonde kitsune at her side suddenly placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder a small laugh escaping his lips. "Yeah, you're right. I still think I'm deserving of another bowl. Beating Choji at eating has always been a goal of mine. And I'll be damned if I let him out eat me with my favorite food!"

As if to emphasize his point Naruto grabbed the new steaming bowl of ramen handed to him and slurped down a small bite. The long table situated in front of the group of friends suddenly shook as Choji slammed a fist down on the hard wood. "You're on Uzumaki!" The room was again filled with the light buzz of casual conversation and Sakura let out a small relieved sigh, happy that all the attention that was once on her had been diverted.

Inwardly she thanked Naruto for yet again having her back as she slowly excused herself from the table, grabbing her small purse and light red jacket. When she stepped out into the night air and felt the cold breeze suddenly touch her skin Sakura let out a sigh, feeling a great weight being lifted off of her shoulders.

She had slipped away from the small gathering unnoticed and she was happy. She didn't really feel like talking to anyone now or explaining what had come over her. Not after that small episode.

The pinkette had already begun walking down the long expanse of the street when she heard a loud voice calling out to her. "Hey, Sakura-chan wait!" Her body stiffened at the sound. It seemed that her absence hadn't gone _completely_ unnoticed. It took a couple of seconds until she heard the footsteps come to a stop right beside her. She didn't even need to turn her head to know who it was.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, why are you leaving so early?" The sadness in Naruto's voice was evident and the pinkette had to bite her lip as she felt the guilt clench at her heart unbearably. Her mind quickly came up with an excuse and before long her lips were moving on their own accord.

"I'm really not feeling well. I noticed it this morning and I thought it'd die off by now. But I guess I was wrong." She lied smoothly another fake smile setting on her lips as she turned her head towards the tall blonde at her side.

Naruto's ocean blue eyes surveyed her emerald ones for a split second before he shook his head a pained smile lining his features now. "Neh, you don't need to give me that excuse. I already used it on the others to explain why you left."

Sakura's pink eyebrows quirked up in surprise at his comment and a small blush made its way to her cheeks. Naruto always took care of her, always protected her. Just what had she done to deserve someone as caring as him in her life?

"I can tell something is bothering you Sakura. I know I may not be the best person to talk to about feelings and serious things…But if it relates to you I'm more than willing to give it a try yanno?" It was now his turn to blush as he looked at the pretty face of the girl he had been crushing on for as long as he could remember. He had known her for so long that he could easily read her like an open book and despite the fact that the pinkette hated it he internally loved it because it helped him find ways to lift up her mood whenever it got too low.

It was silent for a few moments as Sakura slowly pulled on her light jacket, buying herself time to figure out what to say next.

"It's really nothing Naru," the small nickname she often used with him slipped past her lips instinctively. "I just need some alone time and sleep I guess."

She saw his mouth open as if he was going to continue trying to persuade her into talking, but to her surprise he closed it in a split second, opting to instead give her another warm smile. "I'll just take your word for it. Just know that if you need someone to talk to you or let alone help you I'm here to talk or do whatever it is you need."

Sakura's candy pink hair rubbed along the skin of her cheek softly as she nodded her head, looking at him with gentle eyes.

"Yeah, so I'll let you get on your way. But before you leave there's something I've been meaning to ask you for a while now," The pinkette felt her eyes widen in anticipation as she stared wordlessly at the blonde, her eyes taking in his perfectly disheveled hair and twinkling eyes. Whatever it was he had to say to her she could tell he was happy about it, and if that was the case she was sure she would be too. "Well I wanted to ask you if—"

"AYE! Naruto!" a sharp almost enthused voice jerked the cherry blossom and kitsune's attention away from one other as they turned themselves around to gaze at the small Ichiraku Ramen Stand they had spent most of their night in. Kiba's head was poking out of the small entrance as he continued on with what he was saying dutifully, realizing that he had caught his intended target's attention. "Choji is on a roll man! You're wasting valuable time here. If you even want a chance at winning this competition you better come back here now before it's too late!"

Kiba was gone almost as quickly as he came and Naruto let out a small, weary sigh as he lifted his arms up to clasp behind the back of his head again. He trusted Kiba's judgment and if Choji was on the roll Naruto thought he was on time really was of the essence. It seemed like what he had to tell Sakura would have to wait. At least for a little while longer.

He turned his attention to his pink haired team mate again and before he could open his mouth to give her an apology for leaving so suddenly she was already waving her hand, sending him off with a small genuine smile. "You don't need to apologize for anything just go. You heard what Kiba said," Acting on instinct she put her small hands on his orange jacketed shoulders and began to gently push him towards the small ramen stand he loved so much. "You can make it up to me by winning this stupid competition you started. Just don't get yourself sick or fat…baka."

The blonde let out a small laugh at the last part and finally allowed himself to obey her small urges to go. He had already begun walking towards Ichiraku's when he finally decided to speak again, this time over his shoulder. "I'll try my best. Wouldn't want to let you down right? Have a goodnight. And please feel better."

The pinkette brought her hand to her chest and lightly gripped the zipper of her jacket as she stared warmly at the blonde's body as it got farther and farther away from her own, before finally disappearing into the small building where all their friends were gathered. Sakura stood where she was for a few seconds more, staring at the empty space, before turning herself around to walk towards the direction she was heading towards before she was stopped.

Her short heeled sandals scratched the dry gravel lying underneath her feet with each step she took but the sound was barely noticeable as she walked past the crowds of people lining the city streets. Konoha's central area was packed today, but that wasn't really a surprise considering it was a Friday night. Sparkling emerald eyes took in the smiling faces of little children running past her and the happy eyes of parents and the pinkette couldn't help but smile herself. It looked like everyone in the village was out enjoying the cool, fall night. Everyone except…him.

The cherry blossom's teeth came down slightly on the inside of her cheek as she let his name flood through her thoughts for the first time in months. Sasuke Uchiha…she hadn't heard much from him since the war had ended. The last real conversation they had took place back when she was healing him after his fateful battle with Naruto. But that was months ago, and it was now that the pinkette realized that it hadn't even been a conversation at all. Just a few brief words and a half assed apology.

"_Sakura I…"_

"_Don't…I need to concentrate."_

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_Sorry? For what?"_

"_For everything I've done."_

That was all. That was all he had given her. That was the extent at which his regret went and no matter how much the pinkette tried to overlook it and swallow her disappointment she just couldn't. Deep down inside she had hoped that he would get down on his knees and grovel for her forgiveness because of what he had done to her and what he had done to Naruto. She had hoped he'd cry for them just as they had cried for him… but he didn't. She had hoped that he would break out of his shell just once to show remorse…but he hadn't. He just continued on being the emotionless, stoic, shell of a man he always was.

And Sakura came to hate him for it. She really did.

She hated him for all he had put her through the past few years. She hated him because of the all the heartache and tears he'd cost her since they were children. But more importantly, she hated him because he hadn't given her the closure and acknowledgement she so desperately wanted from him since their academy days. And it was because of that the pinkette couldn't bring herself to accept his apology and forgive him. Not just yet.

As far as Sakura was concerned she was over him; over him for good. But even that fact alone wasn't enough to stop her from standing outside his door for the first time in years, her hand tensed and ready over the small, brass knob. She hadn't even realized that she had come here, that her feet had guided her to his doorstep. But something inside her, a gut feeling she supposed, told her that she had to come and check things out for herself. To see if he was okay. She might have given up worrying about him in a romantic sense, but that didn't mean she was completely willing to stop worrying about him as a whole.

She wasn't like Sasuke…not in any sense.

From behind the closed door the pinkette could hear nothing; no voices, no sounds, no indication that anyone was living there what so ever. There wasn't even any light illuminating through the cracks of the door. To a normal person it would look like whoever was living here wasn't home. Or even that the small apartment was abandoned. But Sakura was no ordinary person, she was a kunouchi; a kunouchi who had an uncanny ability to detect chakra signatures.

Someone was in that apartment, she could just feel it. But there was only one way to find out.

Without any more hesitation Sakura brought up her left hand and gently began tapping her knuckles on the wooden doorframe. This continued on for a few more seconds but no response came. That's when the pink haired kunouchi decided to use her voice.

"Hey, Sasuke," her voice blew small clouds of warm air into the crisp night breeze. "I know you're in there. Open up." Again there was no response. In her chest the pinkette could feel her heart beat picking up in agitation as she realized that he was ignoring her. Just like he always did. Even now, after he apologized and supposedly put them on "good terms" he still continued make her feel as if she wasn't worth his time. But she wouldn't let this faze her. She couldn't just walk away.

"If you aren't going to open the door like a normal human being then I'm coming in myself."

The cherry blossom's threat hung in the air tensely for a few moments, and when no response came the pinkette dug her hand into the pouch at her side, her fingers instantly closing along the cool metal of her kunai. The small blade glistened dully in the pale moonlight as she pressed the tip of it expertly into the lock at the door. After a few minutes of prying she finally heard the bolt "click" signifying that it was now unlocked. With a newfound sense of satisfaction the pinkette let out a brief smile, and slowly twisted the door knob revealing the contents of the room inside.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.

Before she had even stepped in the small room a smell, a smell she couldn't even begin to describe, hit her in the face like a ton of bricks. It smelled bitter, sour, almost acrid and as the pinkette stepped inside the threshold of the home she slowly realized that the smell originated from the multiple bottles of alcohol strewn across the room. Her jade eyes looked upon the scene around her in disbelief and after a few seconds of fruitless searching she finally found what she was looking for.

Sitting sprawled in the corner of the living room, blanketed in complete darkness, barely noticeable to the world, was the raven haired avenger Sasuke. His pale skin and well-defined silhouette stood out vaguely in the darkness and if it hadn't been for her trained eyes the pinkette would have completely over looked him. What was going on? What was he doing?

"S-Sasuke," his name escaped her lips with a slow, shaky breath. "What's going on?"

The cherry blossom knew that the answer to that question was pretty self-explanatory but somewhere deep inside herself she hoped that he would somehow disprove her assumption and prove her wrong.

"What does it look like, Sakura?" his deep, smooth voice met her ears for the first time in a while and the pinkette felt goose bumps rise across her skin at his smart remark. He sounded the same…the exact same.

The sharingan user slowly lifted his hand up to his mouth to press a bottle of liquor to his lips and after taking a generous sip he put it down at his side his fingers tightly clenched along the neck of it. "What are you doing here?" His dark and lifeless onyx eyes fell upon the cherry blossom's tense form and Sakura felt her blood run cold.

His blunt question sent her mind reeling. What _was _she doing here? _Why _did she even give a damn about him in the first place? Hadn't she promised herself to never think about him again? _Hadn't she?_

"I came to check up on you," the words escaped her lips robotically. "No one has seen you around Konoha in a while. Everyone's been worrying so I just decided to drop in and see if you were okay."

And also make sure he was here…but he didn't need to know that part.

To her surprise she saw a wry smile touch his lips at her words. "Who's everyone huh?"

Pink eyebrows came together in confusion. "Everyone. Kiba, Ino, Shikamaru, Naruto…"

"But not you right?"

White teeth came down on shaky lips. "You know me well enough to know that answer for yourself."

The sardonic smile Sasuke had plastered on his lips remained there as he lifted the clear bottle to his mouth again to take another sip. The dim lights filtering into the apartment from outside gently illuminated the room, blanketing the contours of Sasuke's face as he rested his head back against the wall, his charcoal eyes coming to a close.

Even from where she was standing the pinkette could vividly see the differences in Sasuke's appearance. He looked beat up, tired, warn out even; a far cry from his usually clean cut self. He had dark circles bruising the skin under his eyes, his hair was a disheveled mess on his head, and his skin was a deathly pale color. Judging from what she was seeing and the smell of alcohol on his skin the pinkette knew that he had to have been drinking for a while now. It was blatantly obvious. But why? What was going on with him?

For as long as Sakura had known him she had never seen him do anything but take walks to relive stress and reflect on the troubles of life. Part of it probably had to do with the fact that she only ever interacted with him as a child. But a part of it also had to do with the fact that she never saw Sasuke externally deal with any of his troubles. He only dealt with them internally.

That was probably why the pinkette never pegged him as the type of person who would drink, let alone do anything destructive to his body. But based off of what she was seeing the cherry blossom slowly came to the realization that there was very little she actually knew about her mysterious team mate. Very little…

"If you came here scold me or give me some stupid speech about how wrong I am for doing this then I'd like you to leave." Sasuke's cool voice suddenly cut through the air, pulling his female team mate out of her thoughts.

Although the admonishing idea sounded appealing to the medic nin she knew that anger could do very little to fix tense and delicate situations like this one. If she wanted to get to the root of the problem, and figure out what was going on in the Uchiha's head she had to be soft. She had to be gentle…but that really wouldn't be a problem. She had years of practice with it anyway.

But where could she even start? What could she even say?

"I didn't come here to scold you. To be completely honest I just came by on a whim, expecting to see you for a few brief seconds at your door. But as you can see that didn't really work out…" a small amused scoff left the cherry blossom's lips in spite of herself. "I was at dinner with all the others… and your name came up sometime during the conversation."

"Hm?" A mock sound of interest escaped Sasuke's mouth. "What were they saying?"

The skin between the cherry blossom's eyebrows came down slightly as a small frown made its way to her face. Not much had really been said about him at the dinner…in fact once her friends saw her discomfort they let the topic of him go. But since he was asking she couldn't just shoot his question down. That wouldn't take her anywhere.

"They just briefly mentioned that they haven't seen you around much," the pinkette said smoothly. "A lot of them also wondered why you haven't joined us to do anything. You are back in the village after all…"

A dark look came across Sasuke's face at her words before a loud, almost ear splitting sound cut through the air. The glass bottle Sasuke had in his hands came into contact with the wall standing just a few feet in front of him. The sudden sound startled the pinkette as she looked down at the broken shards and the brown liquid staining the beige carpet.

_Sasuke…he had just…_

"Please tell me you're lying when you say that," a small sound of disbelief left his lips. "Please tell me that all of you aren't so fucking naïve."

Sakura's pink eyebrows quirked up in disbelief at his words and instinctually she felt anger pulsing through her body. How could he even say that about his friends? After all they had done to save him…had he really sunk that low?

"You and your friends can't just expect everything to go back to normal like nothing ever happened. We all know how badly I fucked up and how badly I messed up your lives. The damage I've caused has been obvious since we were Genin."

At the end of his words Sakura felt her mouth open on its own accord but she quickly closed it, realizing that no sound would come out. She didn't know what to say to him. She didn't know how to even begin formulating a response because every part of what he said was true. He _had _made their lives a living hell for the past few years. He _had _caused a lot of harm to the village they all strived to protect. He _had _messed up badly…_He had…_

But that was before. Not now.

"All that happened in the past Sasuke," the pinkette bit down on her lip as she watched a flash of anger make its way to his face. "We all know that broken relationships can't be mended over-night. But it can happen. Everyone has already forgiven you and –"

"I don't give a damn about anyone's forgiveness Sakura!" His fist came down harshly on the drywall behind him and the cherry blossom flinched, her hands curling into fists at her side. "Do you think that anyone's forgiveness will fix what has happened to me and what has happened to my family? Do you think it will bring back all those people I've killed and everyone that I love? Huh?" He was yelling now. "Answer me Sakura!"

Sasuke's suddenly harsh voice and his poignant words hit Sakura like a tidal wave and without her permission her eyes began to sting with the beginnings of tears. She hated it when people yelled at her…she really did. But Sasuke wasn't in his right mind right now; he was drunk.

"I'm not going to stand here and lie to you," the pinkette's words came out in a small whisper as she struggled to hide the trembling. "I'm not going to stand here and lie saying that forgiveness will fix all your problems because it won't. But do you know what else won't help you? Or your problems? Drinking yourself to death."

A slight almost unnoticeable reaction came across Sasuke's face at her words but it was quickly wiped away before the cherry blossom could look into it further. Whether she liked to admit it or not, seeing her raven haired team mate like this broke something inside of her. This wasn't how things were supposed to be between them. This wasn't the way he was supposed to look. And this wasn't the way he was supposed to be handling his problems….he wasn't supposed to be _alone._

"Even if you won't admit it to my face I know just by looking at your eyes that you haven't forgiven me. At least not yet," his now soft voice broke his team mate out of her thoughts. "I deserve that much. But what I do to myself doesn't concern you. I've given up hope in living a long time ago and it's about time you give up too."

The fist Sakura had at her side began shaking as her tearful jade orbs looked upon the messy room in front of her, then on the multiple bottles lying strewn around them, before finally falling on the tired and lifeless face of her raven haired team mate. For the first time that night the cherry blossom could see the raw emotion on his face and the sheer hopelessness he had in his eyes. Seeing him like this so utterly broken and alone shattered the pinkette's will to abandon him and ignore his existence.

Regardless on how she felt she couldn't just let him suffer alone. _She just couldn't_. She had already watched this horrible addiction ruin the lives of all those close to her. And she'd be damned if she let it ruin another one.

With a new found sense of courage the pinkette took a few steps forward to kneel in front of the raven haired Uchiha. Cold, lifeless, onyx eyes met tearful emerald ones as she reached forward to hold his face in her hands. "Regardless on if I've forgiven you or not I'm not going to let the opportunity to help you slip away from me. I've already done so too many times before."

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><p><strong>AN: ****Phew...this chapter came out to be a lot longer than I expected. I apologize if any of the characters seem OOC but keep in mind this story takes place a few months after the war. Sasuke had this sudden shift in personality so it seemed appropriate to make him a little less...snappy :P If you are curious about what Sakura will do next and how she will help Sasuke recover from his alcoholism stay tuned for the next chapter! I'm not sure when it will be up but hopefully it'll be up before my break is over. As always feel free to fav, follow, or review this chapter. All feedback will be greatly appreciated :) Till next time!**

**- Emi**


	2. Chapter 2

_Notes:_

_Italics = old memories or character thoughts_

_I don't own Naruto or any character's associated with it. All credit goes to the respective author_

_This chapter takes place the morning after the last chapter and will be told from Sasuke's point of view_

_I'd like to extend a special thank you to "precyjay" for her review and all those who faved and followed the last chapter of my story. It really means a lot :)_

_Hope you enjoy!_

**Build Me Up, Break Me Down: Chapter 2**

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><p><strong>Sasuke's POV<strong>

"_When we're alone, and your father talks to me he only talks about you. He only ever has nice things to say. Like how happy he is that you're doing so well in the academy and how proud he is having you as a son. It's because of that he's so awkward around you. Don't take it to heart Sasuke. He loves you, even if you don't think so."_

"_Itachi, promise me that you'll take care of Sasuke."_

"_I failed. My whole life I've put myself above you, and told you this and that, but I was wrong. So this time for once, let me tell you one small truth. It's alright if you never forgive me, and no matter what you become, know that I will always love you."_

Those words…those painful, heartfelt words he had heard ages ago echoed loudly in Sasuke's head as his obsidian eyes snapped open suddenly to gaze at the plain white ceiling lying above him. He didn't even need to turn his head to look at the small clock situated at his side to realize what had just happened. He didn't even need to glance towards his window to figure out what time of day it was. The situation Sasuke was experiencing right now was an all too familiar one and no matter how much he wanted to distance himself from it he just couldn't.

He could feel his breaths escaping his mouth in quick almost shallow gasps. He could virtually hear his heart hammering erratically against his chest. And he could feel the light layer of sweat slowly gathering on his pale skin. He had just woken up from a nightmare…one of several, but unlike all the nights before this one he hadn't woken up screaming. That mere fact alone brought the raven great comfort as he lifted his pale hands up to his face, blinking away the gathering moisture in his eyes.

White teeth came down slightly on the inside of his cheek as he struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to spill from his tired, onyx eyes.

_It was just a dream…_

But to him it was nothing more than a harsh reminder of the reality he was living in. A reality he was forced to face alone with no one to turn to for the comfort and love he so desperately wanted. Dreams and memories, much like the ones he had just experienced, always had a way of getting under his skin because they reminded him of how much he had lost.

Nothing in the world could describe the disappointment the raven felt every time he opened his eyes after a sleepless night to realize that the happy voices he had heard in his head were just illusions. Nothing could describe the agony the raven felt every morning he woke up trembling with no one to hug him and reassure him that everything would be okay. Even though he hated recounting all those words from his childhood he cherished them. Because they were the closest thing he'd ever get to having his family around him again.

But it wasn't the same thing…It would never be the same.

A heavy sigh left the Uchiha's lips as he swung his legs out of bed and made his way towards the kitchen to grab his usual materials; a small crystal drinking glass and a bottle of liquor. He blocked out the happy squeals of children running around on the streets below him and the incessant buzz of conversation accompanying it as he sat back on his plush couch, filling the small glass up halfway with the semi clear liquid.

He knew that it was too early in the morning to be doing this. He could feel the throbbing headache he had from his most recent hangover. But he ignored it all as he pressed the cool cup to his lips, taking a generous sip of the beverage that did so much to quell his never ending agony.

He _needed _this. He _needed _this escape. He _wanted _to stop himself before he dove any deeper into his thoughts.

A small content sigh escaped him as he leaned back onto the couch cushions, feeling the warmth he so desperately craved pulsing hot and heavy through his body. What he was feeling was indescribable. Bliss, pleasure, and absolute content clouded his mind and for the first time that morning the raven truly felt at peace…maybe even happy. With each sip he took from the glass he could feel himself drifting further and further away from the hellish reality he was living in. Knowing he had a means of escape, even if just for a brief moment, gave Sasuke great comfort and he couldn't be any more thankful.

With each sip he took he forgot all about the heartache that came along with not having a mother to turn to for encouragement and unconditional love.

With each sip he took he forgot all about the pain that came along with not having a father to look towards for advice or manly wisdom.

With each sip he took he forgot all about the sadness that came along with not having a brother to look up to or rely on for friendship.

With each sip Sasuke took he forgot all about what it was like to be alone.

Dull, onyx eyes took in the sunny sky outside his window and the bodies of families walking hand in hand on the city streets below him. A wry smile touched his lips at the sight as he slowly realized that he would never be able to experience that simple pleasure many others took for granted. Sasuke knew that as long as he was living in Konoha he could never truly be happy. Being in this village, the very village that had taken away his livelihood, tore him up inside and he hated it. He hated it with everything in him. But where else did he have to go? Who else did he have to see?

As if on cue there was a gentle knock on his door.

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><p><strong>AN: I wasn't planning to include this chapter originally but I felt it was necessary since it helped give some background on Sasuke's reasons for drinking. As you can see he's an emotional wreck but hey, can you really blame him? This chapter is shorter in comparison to the other one and has a lot less actual dialogue but I'll make up for it in Chapter 3. As always feel free to fav, follow, or review this chapter. All feedback will be greatly appreciated :) Till next time!**

**Emi**


	3. Chapter 3

_Notes:_

_Italics = old memories or character thoughts_

_I don't own Naruto or any characters associated with it. All credit goes to the respective author_

_This chapter is going back to being told in Sakura's point of view and like I promised there is a lot more dialogue _

_Thanks to all those who faved and followed the last chapter :)_

_Hope you enjoy!_

**Build Me Up, Break Me Down: Chapter 3**

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><p><strong>Sakura's POV<strong>

_Okay…You said you could do this Sakura. Don't tell me you're chickening out already._

_You were here just last night remember? It's not like you'll be disrupting anything._

_You made a promise right? So why the hell are you just standing here? GO!_

_Oh my god…what the hell have I gotten myself into?_

A small, frustrated sigh escaped the pink haired medic's now parched lips as thought after thought bombarded her suddenly troubled mind. It seemed as if an eternity had passed since she had arrived here just a couple of minutes prior with both arms wrapped tightly around the bag of groceries cradled against her chest. Wide emerald eyes took in the scratches lining the door's wooden frame and the small almost unnoticeable chips of paint peeling off of it. The pinkette mildly wondered how long it had been since this place had been renovated. Her mind racked through many mildly insignificant questions relating to the small apartment standing in front of her but she knew what she was doing. She knew she was just stalling for time, waiting for that small shred of courage to push her towards knocking on that door and taking that first big step to helping the raven haired Uchiha.

But something was holding her back and Sakura couldn't put her finger on what it was.

Last night while she was lying in bed she had promised herself that today would be the start of a whole new relationship with her team mate; one that would be completely free of her childish insecurities and worries. She had promised herself, quite animatedly, that she'd come marching straight through his door once daybreak came. Even though she knew that idea was farfetched Sakura couldn't help but smile at the thought of her plowing into his apartment without warning. She could just envision Sasuke's face, lined with agitation and genuine surprise, and for a brief moment Sakura wished that that image alone would encourage her to knock on that daunting door in front of her. But the cherry blossom wasn't that bold…at least not yet.

One would think that after knowing someone for an extended period of time you'd become more and more comfortable with confronting them. But as Sakura stood at the very doorstep of her emotionally distant team mate for the second time in twenty four hours she honestly began to doubt the validity of that statement, and for good reason.

There wasn't anything conventional about the way Team Seven interacted with one another. It was almost naïve to think that common ideologies, such as the one listed above, applied to them. Upon first glance it was evident that everyone making up the team was different. Each person had their own specific goals that ranged in scope. Each one had a strong personality and each one had different interests. They were so diverse in many aspects of their life yet they all continued striving towards acting as a singular unit and building stronger bonds between one another. Throughout the course of four years Sakura had built a strong relationship with her silver haired Jounin sensei Kakashi and her favorite blonde knuckle head Naruto. But the one person she failed to ever connect with was the obsidian eyed Sasuke Uchiha, a man who was known for his aloofness and obvious indifference towards others. It was because of his iciness that no one ever had a clear picture of who he was on the inside. Even the candy pink haired kunouchi, who had once prided herself as being one of his closest friends, knew very little about him. But could you really blame her? How could one even begin forming a bond with another person if they are constantly being shut out and put down by them?

"_Please don't tell me you're so fucking naïve…Do you really think that anyone's forgiveness will fix what has happened to me and what has happened to my family? Do you think it will bring back all those people I killed and everyone that I love? Huh? Answer me Sakura!"_

"_What I do to myself doesn't concern you. I gave up hope in living a long time ago and it's about time you give up too."_

The small, pale fingers Sakura had resting on the bag of groceries suddenly stiffened as the words Sasuke had said last night echoed its way through her thoughts. Even though they were just words the pinkette could feel each one slashing its way through her heart and breaking away small pieces of her being. Knowing that Sasuke had suffered so much throughout his lifetime was almost painful. But it was even more painful knowing that even now, after the war was over and everything was peaceful, he was still struggling to fight his demons.

But he wasn't going to do it alone. Not as long as she was around.

"_Regardless on if I've forgiven you or not I'm not going to let the opportunity to help you slip away from me. I've already done so too many times before."_

The soft sound of knuckles hitting wood filled the cool, sunny air surrounding the pinkette for a few moments and then there was complete silence. A few tense seconds passed and with each one Sakura could feel her heart hammering harder and harder in her chest. Deep down inside she prayed that Sasuke would ignore her just like he had done yesterday. But once the sound of locks being unlocked met her ears that small ray of hope Sakura was holding onto quickly disappeared.

The cherry blossom didn't even need to look up to see that the door had been opened, she could practically feel Sasuke's cold, charcoal eyes looking down at her. This was the part Sakura had been dreading the most and it seemed like it was just as unpleasant as she expected it to be. She didn't really know what to say, she didn't really know what to do. She didn't feel like explaining why she was here because she thought she had made her intentions clear last night. An eternity seemed to pass before she heard Sasuke's cool, emotionless voice cut through the air.

"What are you doing here?" the sheer bluntness of his question caught the pinkette off guard and she internally cringed. Had he forgotten already? She lifted her jade eyes up to meet his and took in his pale face and disheveled raven hair before continuing.

"I'm here to say good morning of course!" the sheer happiness dripping from those words was almost sickening, even to Sakura, but how else would she hide her obvious awkwardness?

A look of utter confusion flickered across Sasuke's pale face and before he could even open his mouth to retort back with some snide comment the pinkette had already nudged him aside and stepped into the threshold of his apartment. Sakura's emerald eyes briefly fell upon the bottles lying strewn around the floor and the shattered one from last night as she made her way to the kitchen to set down the bag of groceries she had in her arms. As she quickly emptied the contents of it onto the small counter she made a mental note to tidy up the place after she finished breakfast. The cherry blossom had never been a tidy person or much of a cook but she'd quickly learn.

"Sakura," the Uchiha's voice echoed mildly off the walls as he made his way to the kitchen. At the sound of her name the kunouchi in question looked up, temporarily stopping her unpacking. "What the hell are you doing here?" His voice took on a slightly icier tone as he repeated the question he had asked just a few seconds prior.

"I already told you, Sasuke. I came to say good morning." She smiled again; a genuine, carefree smile.

"Saying good morning doesn't require you walking into my apartment without permission."

"Yeah, but how else was I going to get your attention and ensure that you wouldn't just shut the door on me? People say good morning in different ways you know?" The pinkette looked down at the ingredients sitting on the table and quickly spotted what she was looking for: a cartoon of eggs. They were easy to make right? "Can you please tell me where you keep all your cookware?"

The look of bewilderment on the Uchiha's face only deepened at her question but it was quickly replaced with something more sinister; agitation. "No, I'm not going to tell someone who just barged into my house where my stuff is. Now _get out._" The hands he had at his side tightened into loose fists at his words and to her surprise the pinkette didn't feel the least bit of intimidation. There was no way that she'd allow herself to be pushed away so early. She _was _going to break down his walls, even if she had to do it by force.

"I'm not going anywhere. The only way you're going to get me out of here is by _forcing _me out," as if to emphasize her point she curled the hand she had resting on the table into a tight fist. Sasuke's obsidian eyes fell upon her small hand, then on her face, before he lifted the corners of his lips up into an all too familiar smirk. Something about that smug gesture got the pinkette's blood boiling and she had to grip the counter top tightly with her other hand to prevent herself from saying anything.

For as long as she had known Sasuke Uchiha she had known his smirk. That was the closest he ever got to smiling or showing any type of emotion. Whenever he had that look on his face he was up to something. And right now, with the threat of a fight looming in the air between them, that smirk put the medic nin on edge. If he came charging at her with the intention of hurting her it wouldn't really be all that surprising. He had already done similar things, _worse things, _so many times before…

"If you are going to threaten me at least do it confidently," his deep, mocking voice echoed off the apartment walls as he spoke. "Otherwise I'll be more than tempted to capitalize on your weaknesses."

The cherry blossom's thin, pink brows came together in a small frown at his words as she watched him walk towards his living room to sit on the small plush couch. As he leaned back onto the soft cushions he let out a small sigh and extended one lean arm towards the small table at his side to grab a crystal glass. Sakura couldn't see the contents of it because of the hand he had wrapped around it but she could already infer what it was. She felt her heart sink at the realization and she had to grip the counter top even harder in her hand to mask the obvious disappointment in her voice.

"So you're already doing it again huh?"

One of the sharingan user's perfect eyebrows arched up, silently prompting her to continue as he took a small sip from the glass.

"You're really going back to drinking after that conversation we had yesterday? Do you even know what time it is?" Despite her best efforts to contain her agitation the cherry blossom could feel her patience wearing thin. She could practically hear her voice getting louder and louder and she could feel her heart slamming harder and harder against her rib cage.

Sakura had hoped the small conversation they had with one another the night before would at least make Sasuke stop and think about what he was doing. She hoped that her words and her declaration to help him would compel him to stop drinking and do his part to help himself get through this addiction. But it seemed as if her words had met deaf ears. But that wasn't anything new…He had always disregarded what she said and put her on the back burner.

When she didn't hear an automatic response from the raven the pinkette turned away from him and busied herself with assembling all the materials she would need to prepare breakfast. She couldn't bear looking at his defeated and pathetic face any longer, and even though her cooking skills were less than sub-par she knew that it'd be better to keep herself pre occupied. Her small hands gently perused the wooden cabinets lining the kitchen walls and before long she found all the utensils, bowls, and pans she needed. A couple of minutes had passed and by the time Sakura heard Sasuke's voice again she was already beating the eggs she had broken into the bowl.

"What are you really doing here, Sakura?" his voice was now back to being blank and monotonous, devoid of all the earlier hostility and smugness.

"Do you really not remember?"

"I don't remember actually. I woke up from a seemingly normal night and went about my daily business as usual and then you suddenly show up." His onyx eyes narrowed as he glanced at her from the corner of his vision. "What's the deal?"

A row of perfectly white teeth came down gently on the inside of the medic-nin's cheek as she thought of what to say next. She didn't expect to have much of a conversation with him but she was glad he was at least talking to her like a normal person. That's progress…right?

"I came by to visit you last night," another brief glimpse of emotion graced the Uchiha's face and just like all the other times before he quickly wiped it away. "Don't ask me why I decided to come. I don't even know that answer for myself…but let's just say I followed a gut inst-"

"Just get to the point."

A small frown instinctually began forming between the pinkette's eyebrows and before she knew it she had stopped mixing the contents of the bowl, opting to instead meet his lifeless, onyx gaze again.

"Since you asked so nicely I guess I'm here because of what I saw yesterday. I didn't expect to see you, the once proud and admirable Sasuke Uchiha, slumped on your living room floor surrounded by millions of bottles," the words were leaving Sakura's mouth without much thought and even though they were coming out harsher than she intended she didn't stop. She had always been so careful and sweet around him but now was different; she didn't need to impress him. He had to hear the full truth about himself sometime, and it might as well be from her.

"I'm here because last night on a whim I promised that I'd help you. And you know me well enough to know that I don't go back on my word." Without warning an image of Naruto and his reassuring smile entered the pinkette's thoughts and for a brief moment she felt a wave of comfort pass through her body. "How you treat me depends entirely on you. You can treat me like a normal human being or you can continue being a jerk. The choice is entirely up to you. Just know that there's nothing you can do to push me away. I'm not that weak, impressionable girl you knew back when we were Genin."

With a small huff she returned to mixing the eggs, completely ignoring the fact that they were already whisked perfectly. She knew that there was something more she had to do to make this thing edible but she was too frustrated to even think straight.

As she went to go heat the small oven and prep the pan she saw Sasuke take another generous sip of his drink before setting down the empty glass on the table it came from. Just by the look on his face she could tell that her words had struck a nerve and she silently prayed it'd be enough to knock some sense into him. She'd rather her words knock some sense back into him then her fists…

"If you know that I'm a jerk, or whatever name you refer to me as, why are you still helping me?" His voice was low, barely comprehensible past the sizzling pan, but the cherry blossom could hear the sadness and utter depression in his tone. It resembled the one she had heard last night and just like yesterday she felt that familiar sense of longing to make him all better…to make him whole again.

"You're right, you are a complete jerk. A stupid, irrational jerk. But you're still my team mate. And team mates don't abandon each other when they need help." She gently poured the now whisked eggs into the frying pan and let it sizzle for a few seconds as she turned her face slightly to gaze at him through her candy pink hair. "That's why we're going to start over and right our past wrongs."

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><p><strong>AN: Hehe...so I suppose I made Sakura a lot more assertive towards Sasuke than she usually is. She usually just stutters and blushes whenever he tries to undermine her but not this time! I feel like she as a character has come a long way from her childhood days so it only seemed fitting to illustrate that. But what does she mean when she says she is going to "start over" with him? How will Sasuke take it? Stay tuned for the next chapter to find out ;) As always feel free to fav, follow, or review. All feedback will be greatly appreciated :) Till then!**

**Emi**


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